Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First, there
would be
no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and strapped on to
the rear
bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed,desperate claims that buck season
had been
extended. Blitzen's rack would already be on the way to the
taxidermist.
Buffalo Sabres
Calgary Flames
Carolina Hurricanes
Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he would still have
transportation
problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and
clouds
and then refuse to stop and ask for directions. Add to this the fact
that
there would be unavoidable delays in the chimney, where the Bob
Vila-like
Santa would stop to inspect and repoint bricks in the flue. He would
also
need to check for carbon monoxide fumes in every gas fireplace, and get
under
every Christmas tree that is crooked to straighten it to a perfectly
upright
90-degree angle.